*(*NB! This essay is from a talk I gave at Polka’s Pre-Launch Party at Canva. It’s intended for undergraduates, but much of it is applicable to those who lack general conviction)
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Central to the struggle of those in their early 20s, is the inability to form a definition for a ‘meaningful life’. The difficulty to do so, lead countless people to characterise success based on external, rather than internal frameworks.
These frameworks can be considered as scorecards. An external scorecard relating to your own perception by the external world, whereas, internal scorecards measure your own alignment with internal values.
Falling into the trap of trying to replicate the external scorecard with the highest points will only serve to fuel existential crises. You might be able to show off to other people, but more than likely, you will have a misalignment of internal values with the external outcomes that you have achieved.
This is prevalent amongst the undergraduate’s pursuit into Consulting/Banking/BigTech. These positions are often associated with ‘optimised’ external scorecards. You have the prestige of having the great job, great relationship, great lifestyle. That said, the existential crisis comes when all the exciting work is over. When faced with the boring work that isn’t talked about, you realise that your external outcome is not aligned with your internal values.
Personally, the razor that I use to decide whether my actions are aligned with my internal values, or are contributing to my external scorecard is the following:
Despite being young, the days are slowly counting down. Bronnie Ware had great insights from her ‘Regrets of the Dying’, where the most common reported regrets of those with terminal illness were: (paraphrased)
Not following your ambitions
Wasting time on meaningless work
Not expressing your feelings
Not keeping in touch with friends
Not allowing yourself to be happy
This might sound like the common ‘life is short’ sentiment. But instead, what is far more interesting is “what would you do if your life was even shorter?”. Would you still want to go down the same path if you had five years left to live. Turns out, it’s much less important to get that job at McKinsey/Goldman/Google, when you can see the clock ticking down.